Growing up....

Today's ramblings are just musings of my heart. They probably won't come out in the right order, but I hope you can follow it.

I've been a Christian now for nearly 11 years. I made the decision to follow Christ because I knew in my heart that God was real, and I couldn't ignore that fact any longer. My life had been a mix of good living and bad living, but being two faced was something I didn't want to be anymore, so it was time to choose one lifestyle or the other.

Don't for a moment think though that this meant I lived a life that was in any way Christian all the time. I made many mistakes. I messed up friendships. I mistreated girls. I got drunk a couple of times. My language at times was shameful. I disobeyed my parents. I abandoned friends. Worst of all, I led others into sin, and even though I know everyone is responsible ultimately for their own choices, I can't help but feel that I may have played a part in leading young Christians away from God. My worst sin. For the most part I tried to walk the walk, but failed often. I was heading away from God but in His neverending grace and bottomless mercy, He didn't abandon me. He remained with me throughout everything, even though I took Him with me to places that must have broken His heart. I now look back and can see that God never left me; I just chose to think that He had.

As I look around at people, I see some Christians growing with God (at least judging by appearances), and I know others who are struggling. Those who are choosing to go down paths that are not Holy Spirit directed. Those who have failed and feel a burden of guilt which is stopping them from connecting with God. Those who are putting up appearances and obstacles in order to keep their lifestyles secret. So my question is this:

Does everyone have to go through a period of rebellion in order to grow into a stronger Christian?

Why do so many of our young people become Christians, grow and then turn away from God, and why do only some of them come back? Should we allow young people to go through this and risk losing them, or do we try to fight for them?

I was openly rebellious for a year, without concern for God or His ways. God's Word was empty to me; a night's drinking held more attraction than spending time with God's people; relationships were for physical gratification; anger and guilt caused me to turn my back on Him.

But I've come to realise that this was not my only "time" of rebellion. Rebellion happens all the time. I choose not to do the right thing, but instead do my own thing, and possibly even justify it as the right thing in a hope of brushing aside any possible twangs of guilt that may come my way. Is this just part of Christian growing up? That as time goes on I hope and pray that I'll be less rebellious? I don't buy the idea that when I'm a Christian "grown up" I'll be less rebellious. I look to those in the generation above, and I can see broken marriages; unfulfilled lives; and people searching for satisfaction in the here and now. Rebelling against God's intentions is obviously not age-related.

My concern is for young adults though that have become Christians and now are struggling or even turned away all together. They have known the truth of Christ; tasted it and experienced it, but yet they allow themselves to go on journeys that take them away from that truth. Proverbs 19:20 says we should listen to advice and counsel in order that we can become wise. But who does that?! No-one really learns from the mistakes of their elders; they learn once they make the mistakes themselves and time allows them reflection. So my personal experience will not speak to them. My heart breaks for them as I see them slip away, knowing that they may or may not come back to God. My love for them doesn't seem enough to encourage or strengthen them. Do I let them go for it, mess up, and pray that God will not let them wander too far?

I just can't help but feel that this is not the right thing to do. So what do I do? The question is playing over and over in my head. I love these people too much to let them walk away from the God who loves them; who forgives them; who transforms them; who cares for them; who wants to share in every special moment of their lives and not be restricted to an early chapter of their life story, never to feature again. I want them to become stronger Christians without the rebellion. So they don't wake up one day with guilt on their shoulders. So they can hold their husband or wife and know that this is the first person they have given themselves too. So they don't have to look back at photos of nights they can't remember. So they don't have a long list of friends, many of which they no longer speak to because they grew distant. So they have real, genuine, satisfying life; a God-centred life.

Maybe you're reading this, and you think I'm talking to you. Don't worry, no-one else knows your reading this so you can respond whatever way you want. I hope this is you, because I've written it for you! I hope you can read this and realise that I am not judging you nor am I criticising you. You can forget you've read this, forget about about me, forget you ever made the decision to follow Christ. I pray you don't do that. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. I don't want you to let go of the faith that you KNOW deep down is real. Remember that you've experienced it! You know it's the truth. Grab a hold of it and don't let go of it (Hebrews 10:23). You can still grow.

I want you to know three things (and I've rambled on long enough) so I'll finish with these:

- God loves you.

- God forgives you.

- God wants you back.

Please don't give up.

The next big thing...

So I'm trying to think of ideas for next years big charity event, and one keeps coming back around. I'm in the process of chasing up some info about it, but will let you know as and when it happens!

In other news, I'm kindof getting into Geocaching! Sounds geeky, and I suppose it is, but I'll let you know how it progresses! If you don't know what it is, check out:

http://www.geocaching.com/

The Big Run is over...

It is done. As I write this, I actually have difficulty in believing that it is done, though the aches in my body plus the medal I have makes it seem quite real!

Firstly, if you have ever ran a marathon before, or are planning to, I have a new found respect for you. It is a physical, and for many people a mental challenge, unlike any other I have experienced, and I am in awe of anyone who goes for it. This is aimed especially at my good friends Ed, Dale & Clint!

Without a doubt, I found this the most difficult and challenging event I have ever participated in. If you have never ran a marathon, let me give you a brief summary of what it felt like, and my own personal experience of it.

At the beginning, you stand with thousands of other people, breathing in an atmosphere of nervous excitement. You try to stretch in order to warm up, but you're shoulder to shoulder and squashed into a large sheep pen so that's almost impossible. You look around at people on their own, in groups, but it's clear from everyones' faces that something is about to happen.

Suddenly a horn blows, and a large cheer goes up as the front runners take off like scalded cats, while the other 9'000 people shuffle forward like March of the Penguins. There's very little running for the first hundred metres of so until the crowd begins to space out. I can't really describe how I felt at this point, as I was too busy looking at the costumes of other runners and trying to avoid running over people. The sun was shining and I realised that this was actually it.

For the first few miles there is still an excitement amongst the runners. A lot of people are chatting, and laughing, though a lot of people look very focused and are trying to get away from the people who appear quite relaxed. As I crossed the Albert Bridge, I was fortunate enough to run into Dale Mitchell, who was running the relay. This was great as Dale was able to keep me at a good pace for the next few miles and provide me some tips, having ran the marathon last year in a good time. Every now and again there as water stops, and we grabbed cups of water on the way past. For the briefest of moments I felt like a marathon runner, throwing the water back and chucking my cup to the side of the road. If you are ever running the marathon or the relay, relish these wee moments!

As we approached 4 miles I paused to stretch and told Dale to run on as she can run faster than me. As I ran on to the Sydenham bypass, there was my other marathon friend Clint (who just ran his second London marathon recently) who had bought me a bottle of lucozade sport, jelly beans, and a lot of verbal encouragement! When he said "You're doing great" he appeared sincere, and so I took off in the genuine belief that things were going well so far! This was a great point for me in the race, and I would recommend that if you are running, get friends or family members to be positioned somewhere around the course so they can encourage you. It really does make a difference.

Another benefit for me was having my phone with me so friends and family could ring me and chat to me as I ran. This was great for encouragement on the move and took the mind off the distances. Thanks to everyone who rang me during the race, it was good to chat with you all! Sorry if I seemed breathless for much of our conversation.

As many of you will know, I only decided to do this race three months ago, and my longest run was 8.7 miles. A third of what I would be doing in the marathon. On the day itself however, I was running beyond my ability. I passed the first relay point, then the 7 mile mark, then the 8 mile mark, and I never stopped. In fact I was on to the Antrim Road before I had any sort of struggle. I passed the half way mark in a time of 2hours 40mins, which was roughly on target for my estimated finish time of 5hours.

Running at between 5mph and 6mph was what I hoped for, but as the Antrim Road continued to wind it's way up around Cave Hill, my energy levels continued to wind down. A few pains started to be felt in my feet and in my hip socket. I knew my running had started to slow, but it was reinforced to me when a wee girl stepped out from the crowd and yelled,
"Here mister, you're s'posed to be runnin'!"
Not the encouragement I was hoping for.

Runners will tell you about "The Wall". I'm afraid I can't tell you about it, because I never hit it. I have always had a strong mental attitude to things, and I had a theory that this race would be 50% physical, and 50% mental. This has now been proven. I would not recommend running a marathon if you don't have a strong mind. My 50% physical was used on the first half of the race, and the 2nd half of the race was done solely by the overwhelming desire to finish and not to fail. I saw people who looked a lot fitter than me giving up on the marathon, on the relay, and on the walk. I forced myself to keep moving, and though I was reduced to a physical mess by the end, it paid off.

As I continued in this race, I have also realised that the people on the side of the road supporting the runners will cheer, clap and shout for you in two ways. If you are in the first half of runners, then their support will carry tones of elation and excitement. If you are in the second half of runners, then their support carries the distinct tone of sympathy. Their faces change from bright, happy, ecnouragement, to sad, heartfelt pity; as if they want to say "This wasn't really a good idea for you now was it?" This may just have been my experience, so would like to know if anyone else has seen this!

The last two legs were horrible. I jogged, walked and limped. My pee had turned blue (BLUE!!) due to the large amounts of water mixed with Powerade drinks I had consumed. I had taken that long to cover the last couple of miles as I turned the corner past Maysfield Leisure Centre I was fortunate enough to see the race officials throw the remaining buckets of water over one another. There was some Powerade left, but I couldn't risk any more of that stuff in case I became a Smurf. This was the mental challenge. I could see Ormeau Park and knew it was only a few miles to go. Nothing was going to stop me. I bumped into my friend Alan Marsh who kindly walked with me a bit, and then on the last mile, Sharon, Peter and Dale met me and walked with me. Though my hip had now forced me to move at a snails pace, I was as determined as ever to cross the line. Once you are in the 20+ mile mark, you should continue. Even if you are in pain, retiring at this point isn't really an option.

The relief when I crossed that finish line was immeasurable. Knowing that I had been moving for the last 6 and a half hours was just mental. I was wrecked and could barely stand, but it was done. The satisfaction of crossing the finish line almost made the race worthwhile in iself, but the money we have raised for charity has definitely made it worthwhile. Together we have raised over £700 for Oasis Village Trust working in Ndola in Zambia. This money will be spent on building the ten new chalets to house 6 children each. I can't thank you enough for your support in raising this money. If you are reading this and have not yet donated any money but would like to, please use the links to the right of this post.

I am of course now open to ideas for my next "Big Challenge" for next year, so if you have any thoughts, get in touch!

Dave

It's nearly here...

This will be my last posting before the race. I want to thank you for your support, and I hope that you will remember the happy go-lucky, beautiful, care free individual I was, rather than the pain-ridden, blister soled, sweat bucket that you may see next week. Though similar to the guy on the right, I may be running long in to the night...

I also want to thank everyone who has sponsored me so far, it's been fantastic. However, there are many people who still haven't sponsored me. If you haven't yet found the time to do it, PLEASE do so today. I would love to hit my target over this weekend before the race on Monday. Just click on the link below or to the right, fill out a couple of details; it's that simple. Or if you want to sponsor me in person, please get in touch asap.

Run strong!*

Dave

http://www.justgiving.com/thebigbelfastrun

(*Apologies for the cheeseyness of that last comment, I couldn't help myself)

Two weeks to go...

We are now two weeks away from the Big Belfast Run.

I'm not going to lie to you, I am concerned.

Not that I will fail this challenge horribly; not that I face permanent ligament damage; not that I may not be able to walk for a week; nor even the fear of my bum and thighs being chafed raw.

No, I'm more concerned that I'm not going to reach my target sponsorship! So please sponsor me today! It's for a fantastic cause, and it's the only reason I'm persevering with this!